Friday, January 04, 2008

Work & Reviews

It's Friday again and I'm slowly getting through my day. I still have not had my annual review. Apparently the compensation needs to be approved by HR before the review can be administered - so that's the hold up. I just wish they'd hurry. I mean, yeah - it's the money, but also because my reviews make me so nervous that I don't feel good at all until they're over.

My friend here at work says my nervousness is just because the reviews I had at other companies (except when Mia and Robert gave them) were crappy. It didn't matter how well I thought I performed, my supervisors and/or managers thought otherwise, even when everyone else always seemed to be complimenting me on my hard work.

More often than not, I would come home crying from work more and finding myself looking for excuses not to go in the next day. Since I am just not the type to give up and do nothing on the job or simply walk out (though I admit I've done that once), I always found more reasons to go in instead of to stay home and weep. I have an "I'll show them" attitude and it makes me try even harder.

I finally have a boss, however, who recognizes that I do a good job and who knows that I will do what I say I'm going to do. He trusts that if I have problems, I'll come to him and that I'll keep him posted on the status of my projects. He doesn't stand over my shoulder, breathe down my neck, or ask me every five minutes about things I'm working on. Not only that, but he treats me like a human being, and not a peon.

This is an enormous change from the witch at the clothing store who fired me because she didn't like me though she used an awful, untrue excuse to execute it. It's vastly different from the retired Navy Captain who was used to barking orders and getting immediate, unquestioned results. This is a world away from walking on egg shells around the woman who considered it a sport to make me cry every day just because she could or the VIP at that same company who was just simply mean, though she pretended she was your best friend. I could go on.

I guess what I mean is, I feel lucky - even with all the small frustrations on the job - to have a job where I don't mind going, where I am not afraid to set food in the door, and where I'm not feeling sick to my stomach every day just waiting for the Sugar Honey Iced Tea to hit the fan.

Plus, I work with a really great group of people. Granted, there are a couple I'd like to strangle occasionally - especially when they take it upon themselves to order $1800.00 worth of specialty imprinted chocolate bars we can't use because the imprint sends the wrong message and no one approved it in the first place and then we have to pay to ship it back to the vendor when the expense should come out of someone else's budget...! (Oh, Jenn...calm down now...)

Deep breath.

Sunshine, Rainbows & Daisies!


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