Help! Aliens have stolen my children!

I'm becoming more and more convinced that aliens from a distant planet have descended upon the household and have stolen my sweet children. Aside from the ongoing battle of their rooms being kept clean (ha ha, I'm losing), the ATTITUDES are currently driving me mad. Especially Girl child. Boy child to a lesser extent.

One minute Girl child is sweet as roses and candy. How does that rhyme go? Sugar and spice and all things nice? Yep, that's her. Then the next minute my sweet little girl is gone and in her place is a yellow-eyed demon bent on world domination or destruction; take your pick. I'm getting whiplash from her mood swings.

Boy child is acting out in other ways, but none of them comparable to his little sister.

I know it's her age. She's exactly two weeks away from her 10th birthday. I know exactly what's going on (I am, after all - a girl, too), but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

Nothing I've said, done, or yes, even threatened, has worked and I'm about ready to climb a tree, build a fort, and stay there until she's 18. My fort will be lined with lovely jewel-colored pillows with golden fringe, embroidered elephants, and tiny mirrors sewn into the fabric. Tapestries hanging from the ceiling. A thick, soft mat on the floor to sleep on. Electricity, of course. Maybe a little one-eyed stove for cooking tea or broth. I could live on tea and broth, right?

Of course, I'd have to seriously consider the work situation. Do I leave the comfort and serenity of my beautiful tree fort every day for work? They have showers at work after all, and smelling good might be, well...a good idea. Especially if I'm facing the public. Or, do I tuck tail, request a token for secure remote access, and work from home?

I think the whole showering thing probably wins that argument for me.

TTFN
JMS

The beatings will continue until morale improves, or until your rooms are clean - whichever comes first

I called a Family Meeting last night to talk about some stuff that was bugging me and that I knew - or suspected - Hubby was struggling with, too. United front, and all that.

Hubby was cooking a fabulous meal (he's a fantastic cook, by the way, lucky us!) so while he finished what he was doing, I starting taking our bed apart because I wanted to wash the sheets, and get a couple other household chores out of the way.

Later, while we were eating, I presented my talking points.  Very generally, they were:

• Cleaning up
• Attitudes
• Mornings
• Responsibilities
• School Work
• Tablets
• Church
• Arguments
• Animals

Among other things. 

Hubby provided input as we went and was very supportive. (Thanks, babe!)

Basically, the message was this: You each have responsibilities. You each know what your responsibilities are. It is your job to do them, without constantly being reminded, or there will be consequences. Respect, when speaking to your parents or other adults, is required - no exceptions. Schoolwork is your priority. Church time is for church. And "No," does not mean a jumping-off point to start negotiations, it means, "No." Period.

I'd rather be the mean mom now while I still have a little bit of hope of molding my kids into decent adults. I'm their mom first, and their friend second.

I'm very lucky, though. Both my kids are comfortable talking to me - about pretty much anything - so I must be doing something right.

It's early yet, and the impact of this meeting has yet to really be tested and verified. But I can tell you this morning was much easier than yesterday morning. Boy-child got up, did what he was supposed to do - all of it - without being reminded every step of the way. Girl child still languished in bed acting the princess, but she didn't have an attitude problem. Both of these things I would consider vast improvements. 

Anyway - it will be what it will be. I can only hope I don't have to reiterate my message and that Hubby and I can finally have a little bit of peace from the chaos.

Wish us luck!

TTFN
JMS

Motherhood Survival Group

I keep seeing all these wonderful videos online about motherhood, telling me things like:

"You're not in it alone!"

"You're NORMAL!"

"Don't be ashamed to ask for help!"

"My kid does XYZ thing, too!"

"It's OK to feel like you're going insane!"

"Motherhood solidarity! Rah Rah Rah!"

Honestly? I feel like these women are talking directly to me! At least most of the time. I'm feeling chaotic and frustrated and weepy and sad and angry and useless and, worst of all, like a failure - all the time. I'm spinning in circles and I can't slow down because if I do, everything falls to pieces around me.

Right now, I'm dealing with (among other things) ATTITUDE! Oh golly, is there ever attitude in my house and I'm so over it! Just once, I would like my children to respond like they used to, when they were smaller and when I actually scared them a little bit. Now they know. You know? They know I'm not going to actually beat them, even if I might threaten it. They know being grounded is an irritating obstruction of their fun, but not life-threatening.

"They" tell me it will change.

"They" tell me it will get better.

"They" tell me it's just a phase and that the tween/teen years are the hardest.

And are "They" ever right!

Girl child is 2 months shy of her 10th birthday and every bit of 13 years old in her head. Boy child is 2 months shy of his 13th birthday and every bit of 30 years old; he thinks he knows everything and is always right. So you can imagine my constant state of frustration.

I know there are mom's groups in town, but the problem I have with them is they tend to meet while I'm at work. As far as I know there aren't any Motherhood Support Groups for mom's with tweens/teens where we sit around after the kids to go to bed, and discuss how frustrated we are and if another mother has dealt with the same thing we could share ideas of how to get through it? And without judgment, but with plenty of understanding shoulders to cry on - and boxes of tissues. Maybe a Motherhood Survival Group? With wine?

I'd go. Yes, please?

TTFN
JMS