Life Skills Resume -OR- Mommy Magic

I was thinking about what my resume might look like if I were simply honest.  I mean, not that my resume isn’t honest – it totally is – but it’s honest work stuff and not necessarily honest life stuff.  Does that make sense?  I mean, resumes are supposed to be all about how awesome you are at your job; the stuff you do that earns you a paycheck.  But what if we got paid for knowing and doing and being other stuff? 

For example:

SUMMARY:  Hard-working, committed mother of two with over 42 years of experience in the field of General Life.  Extensive background in service and commitment with a well-established ability to sacrifice for the sake of others.  Ability to meet important deadlines and complete homework projects.  Solid Internet research skills and a familiarity with multiple technical medias as they relate to networking and child appropriateness levels.  Child-friendly with ability to entertain biological children as well as children of others in a trusted, safe environment where they are encouraged to thrive.  Strong written, verbal, and interpersonal skills coupled with an ability to win in a family- or self-driven environment. 

EDUCATION: School of Hard Knocks

RELATED SKILLS:

• Proper coffee making
• Proper table setting
• Proper bed making
• Basic Mathematics
• Strong English Language vocabulary and grammar
• Proficient reading
• Excellent table manners
• Good hygiene, oral and body
• Above-average technical
• Quirky fashion sense
• Don’t have to keep up with The Jonses
• Extensive knowledge of Alone-Time benefits and recuperative powers
• Deep, enduring and life-affirming animal appreciation

I could add stuff like:

• Can make a campfire
• Can make macaroni and cheese
• Can pour without spilling
• Can color within the lines
• Can be serious or silly, depending on need
• Am thought to have certain magical abilities to include: having eyes in the back of my head, Extra Sensory Perception, Trouble identification, Boo-boo Care, and the ability to make red lights turn green with a wave of my fingers
• Am known to have a direct line to Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny (et al) and can contact any and all on short notice with behavior updates

I wonder what one would get paid for skills such as these?  Should my General Life job be considered my second job, or should it be considered my first job, and my job-job would then become my second job?  Am I confusing you yet?

Something to consider.  

My brain hurts.  I think I need coffee.  Or a glass of wine.

TTFN

JMS

Can you pass The Resume Test?

You all have been listening to me spew advice, thoughts, peeves, rants and other information for a long time now.  For that, I must say thank you.  I have a lot of experience and lot of knowledge, but it’s all self-taught and learned through many years of keen observation and asking enough questions to fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool.  The point is: I know what I’m talking about and I don’t make stuff up because it sounds good.

One thing I know – for absolutely certain – is what employers (recruiters, specifically) are looking for when they review resumes and assess applications.  Bottom line?  They’re looking for formatting faux-pas, spelling snafus, and informational inconsistencies as much as they’re looking for employment experience and skill set.  Yes, the alliteration is fun, but what those alliterative allusions allude to (sorry, couldn’t help myself) could be detrimental to your job search.  You can be certain they’re testing you.

Have you ever asked yourself this question: “I’ve put out tons of resumes, I know my stuff and I’m an great candidate, so why am I not getting any call backs?”

First of all, the very best piece of advice I can give you is, “SLOW DOWN!”  You may be in a hurry to get a job, and therefore in a hurry to update your resume and start submitting applications, but don’t.  Hurry, that is.  Take your time.  Be thoughtful.  Be deliberate.  And BE HONEST.

Secondly, when you put together your resume, have a trusted friend look it over.  Heck, have two friends look it over.  Ask your friend to not only look for glaring errors, but ask them to think like a recruiter: what would they want to see?  If possible, show your friend a copy of one of the job ads you’ve responded to and ask them to impartially consider the match.  Also, have them take resume format into account.  Not just the way your resume is laid out on paper, but to look for spacing problems or things that just seem…off.  Then, no matter what they say, listen.

Third, SPELL CHECK!  This cannot be stressed enough.  You could be the best match for the job, but spelling errors could get you fired before you’ve even gotten the job.  Most employers aren’t going to think, “Well, she looks great on paper, and those spelling errors are probably just accidents, so let’s get her in here for an interview.”  They’re not going to give you the benefit of the doubt.  They are looking for the best, so be the best.  Further, most spelling errors aren’t accidents.  Yes, typos happen, but the worst thing you can do is show a potential employer you don’t know how to spell.  The second worst is showing them you didn’t bother to spell check your work.  Spell Check is there for a reason, so use it.

And lastly, be very careful about inconsistencies with your time-line.  In any type of resume, if you list start and end dates of a previous job and then have months or years in between listing your next job, consider saying something of what you were doing during that time.  For example: From July 2012 through January 2013 assisted a family member recovering from major surgery.  Whatever the case may be, say something so a potential employer knows you were not simply sitting around on the couch, eating yellow cheesy sludge out of a bucket with your fingers, and hollering at the television while collecting an unemployment check.  For that matter, if you were collecting unemployment, you may want to say something like: From July 2012 through January 2013 was actively seeking permanent employment.

One other thing.  It is in your best interest to keep your resume to one page, or two pages printed on one sheet if you’re using hard copy.  It is definitely a challenge to get all of your important information on one back-to-back page, but if a recruiter has to read War and Peace, they’re going to get bored awfully quickly.  Would you want to risk it?

The above tidbits don’t just apply to resumes, but also to online applications and any forms a potential employer may send you to fill out.  Also, understand this: Your resume is not the right place for elaborating.  The interview itself is the right place and time for further explanations and storytelling.  A recruiter worth his or her salt will only pre-screen potential employees who pass the resume test.  If you’re job hunting, go back and really look at your resume.  Do you think YOU would pass the resume test?

~Tangent (JMS's alter-ego)

PS: Tananda says. “For the love of all that is holy… do not use some sort of decorative font or put artwork/graphics/selfies all over it.” For what it’s worth, I wholeheartedly agree. Once you’ve got the words on the paper, let them speak for themselves.

Originally posted at Tananda.com on 10/8/15

It's practically a requirement

One of the things I love about being a mom is getting to spend one on one time with my kids.  They spend a lot of time together, and for the most part, they get along pretty well - with a few pushy-shovey-he-said-she-said-that’s-mine-no-it’s-mine thrown in for good measure.  Because really, what would parenthood be without those special and important parts of a parent’s resume: peacekeeper, disciplinarian, human lie detector, etc.?  You get the drift.  But when they’re together, they’re always in some kind of competition with one another; for my time, for hubby’s time, for the stuff (whatever that stuff may be).

I mentioned several (ok a dozen or so) posts ago that one of my new favorite things is the kids sweetly competing for hugs from me in the mornings before I leave. The hug from boy-child, who relinquishes me to his sister so girl-child can hug me, but then he scoots around us so he can get behind her for yet another hug from me, then she follows the pattern, and so on and so forth until I have to say, “Ok guys, I’ve really got to go!  Love you!” and scoot out the door.  This truly could go on forever, but I love it.

However, when there is an opportunity for me to spend quality one on one time with one or the other of my kiddos, I do my best to jump on it.  They each know that I love them and care about what they have to say, and this alone time is an opportunity for me to prove it.  Not with stuff but with time.

Tonight, Hubby took girl-child to Girl Scouts.  So boy-child and I went to Firehouse Subs and had a mutually agreeable dinner together and the conversation spanned from school, to standardized testing, to Minecraft, to the new-fangled drink machine the restaurant has, The Weather Channel, weather in general, and opinions about many other topics.  My son has an amazing capacity to understand things far beyond his 11 years; he is so wise.  Then we hit the local thrift store, just to see what they had, and as we wandered, we searched for various things that might interest us – just because.  He wanted to get a Beanie Baby for his sister.  Then we found a t-shirt that says, “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” on it and he said, “MOM! Don’t you think [girl-child] would loooo-oooove that?”  So we got that, too.  He’s a sweet kid and thinks of his little sister even without a parent prompting him.

Now we’re home, the laundry is tumbling, teeth have been brushed and we’re hanging out together talking about a game on his tablet called “Hay Day” – which is kind of like FarmVille, but not.  And he has been touting the virtues of becoming a landscape architect “because it’s so satisfying to arrange things on [his] farm so they are pleasing to the eye.”  I’m quoting; that actually came out of his mouth.

Anyway – I really enjoy hanging out with my kids.  When boy-child goes to Scouts with Hubby, I hang out with girl-child and that can mean anything from cooking a simple meal together, to just throwing together a snack plate (covering all the nutritional bases, of course) and curling up in bed together to watch a Disney movie.  We talk about all kinds of stuff too, just different stuff.

I guess that I’m kind of lucky that I actually enjoy my kiddos.  I know there are lots of parents out there who think of their kids as accessories, or worse, a burden.  I feel sorry for those parents.  They have absolutely no idea what they’re missing.

TTFN

JMS