Too late

You know it's too late when you do an online search for a friend's address only to find their obituary instead.  And then to find out that this friend passed away in September...3 months earlier...and you're just now finding out about it.

I feel badly.  I truly do.  But I don't make a habit of searching obituaries for people I know and was truly surprised, and saddened, to find that our former neighbor is no longer with us.

She and her husband were good friends to us when Kiddo was small, and when Little Bit was brand new.  They had two goofy rescue poodles who were fun to watch and to play with, even if they barked like mad.  They fed us...often...on excellent homemade Italian food, strong coffee, and even sometimes wine.  They gave and gave and gave of themselves...and then we moved away.  Shortly thereafter, they moved, too.  Out of state.  And we lost touch.

He is still alive.  She is not.  She will be missed.

And I am sad.

TTFN
JMS

That feeling...

You know that feeling?  The one you get when you've just eaten a poppy- or sesame-seed bagel and you are worried that you have seeds stuck in your teeth, but you're no where near a mirror to confirm this so you just hope no one will notice?  There's a lot of "not smiling" involved.  The tip of your tongue gets kind of sore for running it over your teeth hoping to feel an offending particle.  You're convinced people you talk to are staring at the little black bits wedged near your gum line, so you're self-conscious - yet you're kind of ticked off, too, because you wish they'd just say, "Hey!  You know you have stuff stuck in your teeth, right?"  And no one you know, who is currently around to ask, is someone you're close enough to, to go over and grin Cheshire-Cat like and ask, "Do I have anything in my teeth?"

Just like you wish people would say something - anything - when you've been walking around with your fly open all morning.  (Not that this has ever happened to me.  Nope. Nope. Nope.)

TTFN
JMS

A Walk Between Raindrops

Right now I am feeling stretched so thin that I could probably walk between raindrops in a downpour and not get wet.

I can't believe that I haven't posted anything since JUNE.  How careless of me.

Never mind that it's now Christmas and on top of already feeling overwhelmed, now I have to worry about how I'm going to pay for Christmas gifts for the kids.  We don't ever get them much, but we want to get them something.  My house is still a mess, even though I've worked my a$$ off trying to get out from under the mountains of crap. 

To top it off - my Mother's birthday would have been tomorrow.  December 15th.  It hit me like a ton of bricks about 30 minutes ago when I physically wrote the date 12/14 and thought to myself, "Hm...why is that date important?"  And then I remembered Mom's birthday.  I'm partially upset because I miss her and even after 22 years I still would want to be able to give her a hug and tell her I love her and wish her a Happy Birthday.  She knows, though.  I'm partially upset because after 22 years, the date of her birth isn't foremost on my mind like I think it should be and I feel guilty for having to actually wonder why the date struck me as important.  So now I've made myself a bit sad, and I wasn't sad 30 minutes ago.

And please, don't tell me to snap out of it.  I feel like being sad right now.  But I promise it won't last too long because I have too much to do for it to remain at the forefront.  I have to get through my work day.  And then we have to be at church tonight at 5PM and I have to work on catching up on paperwork and cleaning out the crap that has accumulated in my classroom, too.

I have to plan the Evening with Art (a gallery of the artwork the children have done during my Devotions class this past Fall) which will take place at the church Jan 4th.  I have to plan Devotions classes for January.  I have to organize Devotions classes for February AND a Valentine's day something-or-other for the Sunday school kids.  Thankfully not ALL of that has to get done tonight.

And then BAM!  Christmas.

How did that happen?

Where did the time go?

How did my kids get to be almost-8 and almost-5?

Anyway - I think I'd better quit while I'm ahead.  Thanks for letting me vent!

TTFN
JMS