Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Things that make you go EEEW!

We all have our things – things which might disturb us on a much, much deeper level than the obvious ick factor of said thing.  For example, for me, the word Moist is a serious EEEW!  Yes, we all know what the word means (well…I hope you know what it means) but aside from explaining the general dampness factor…well, actually, that’s kind of EEEW, too.  ((shudder))  OK – moving on.

Then there’s the whole getting-your-mouth-as-close-to-the-water-fountain-spout-as-possible-while-not-actually-touching-it thing.  There are folks who really must believe, in the deepest recesses of their minds, that the closer their mouths are to the spout, the fresher (maybe colder?) the water they’re drinking will be.  Not to mention the germy-er.   I mean, come on!  Have you ever really LOOKED at a water fountain spout while you’re drinking from it?  They’re gross!  Even if they’re cleaned regularly, there’s always some kind of gooey residue around the spigot.  It’s brown, or pink, or sometimes even greenish and I’m sorry, but there’s NO WAY you’re getting me close to that thing.  EEEW!

And ladies, let’s not forget the Fuzzy Bath.  (Guys – feel free to check out for a minute.  You may rejoin the conversation in the next paragraph.)  The Fuzzy Bath happens when a woman gets it into her head that a hot bath, maybe a book, a glass of wine (hm…) and possibly a candle or two is a wonderful idea, and possibly even necessary for survival or sanity.  (We’ve all been there.)  After a good soak, one thinks, Hm…I suppose I should shave my legs.  So, razor and soap (or gel shaving cream, if you prefer) in hand one begins the deforestation process.  After a while, you realize you’re sitting in a soupy miasma of soap or shaving cream residue, plus leg fur.  I’m sorry – I cannot continue.  A shower is then required to not only clean oneself, but also clean out the tub.

There’s also:
·         The Tub-Drain Fur-Ball
·         Vomit (of any kind, human or animal)
·         Breast-fed baby poop (sorry, truth)
·         Poop, in general.  Especially sidewalk poop.  Especially stepped-in sidewalk poop.
·         The Unknown Food Origin (UFO) from the Tupperware container in the fridge that you’re pretty sure was, at one point, solid, yet is now a liquid.  This requires simply throwing out the Tupperware container as it is no longer salvageable. 
·         Snot.  Especially wall-snot.  This occurs when young children dig for gold and then wipe on the nearest vertical surface.  It’s shiny.  Like dried egg yolk or high-gloss paint.

For my son, he says that the word Poop is his EEEW!  He also tacked on his extreme dislike for wet, squishy socks.  My daughter and husband both voted for vomit being their EEEW!  Oh - the list could go on and on.  And now that you're thoroughly grossed out...


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