Thursday, February 05, 2009

One Parent's Frustration Explained

I'm tired today, but actually, I feel pretty good. I mean, aside from the fact that I'm trying to type with frozen fingers, that is. I don't know if I'll warm up until summer! Maybe by the time this post is done, I will have worked the cold and stiffness out of my fingers! We went to eat last night at O'Charley's. Kiddo was pretty decently behaved, but Little Bit was an absolute terror. I know that the reasons for her behavior are that A) she's still not feeling 100% and B) she's almost 2; but that doesn't make the screaming any easier to deal with. Although when you say to people around you in a restaurant, "She's 2," they smile and nod sympathetically, as if you've just given them the most perfectly logical explanation there ever was. They never even look at you again and just take the fact of her age as face value for her behavior. It's nice to know that people understand what being 2 means, but it still doesn't make me not want to perform some sort of baby torture on her right there for everyone to see! She screamed all through dinner: "Don't wanna sit in my high chair!" "Don't wanna sit, wanna get down!" "Don't wanna eat chicken, want [Kiddo's] corn dogs!" "Get down!" "Mommy! Wanna get down!" "Get outta this chair!" "Wanna get down!" "Don't like broccoli!" "Hold me!" "Carry me!" "Sit on your lap, Mommy!" "Sip!" (of either my soda or Hubby's tea) And on and on and on and on until we were both ready to kill her! Then, as if the restaurant weren't punishment enough for attempting a family outing with a nearly 2-year old, we went to Target! (I needed a couple of things and we were right there, for goodness sake!) She wanted to sit in the basket (not where she's supposed to sit, but in the part where you place the stuff you are going to purchase), then she wanted to walk, then she wanted to push the cart, then she wanted to wander aimlessly, not caring even one iota that Mommy and Kiddo were headed in an entirely different direction. Then, when I'd finally had enough of chasing her down, I stuck her in the carts child seat and she screamed bloody frikkin' murder for the entire rest of the time we were at the store!!! Hubby finally said, "Will you please take them outside and I'll finish up in here." We were both frazzled. Kiddo and Little Bit hit the bed the second we walked in the door at home around 7:30PM. No more. We were done with the arguments and the hollering. Kiddo was actually mostly good but LB was an absolute nightmare. Hubby and I were so frustrated that we went about our nightly rituals of getting clothes ready for the morning, dog feeding, walking, getting ready for bed...in pretty much absolute silence. It's not that we were mad at each other, but that we were relishing the quiet. For my friends who don't want children, sometimes I definitely understand your decision, believe me. Especially at times like this. However, even though sometimes my children make me insane and make me think of horrible things and make me understand how easy it could be to cross "that line" I still don't ever regret having my family and always know what a joy they are to me. For my friends who do want children, all I can say is, "This too shall pass." They might give you grief at intervals over their entire lives, but I think they are totally worth all the suffering they might put you through. Even though I am sometimes ready to turn tail and run, I never once have actually considered bailing out on my family. OK - I guess that's not entirely true, because I suppose you could consider my need for three or four hours of uninterrupted girl time with friends an act of abandonment to my family, but hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do and, conversely, a mommy's gotta do what a mommy's gotta do...right? (That goes double for my awesome SAHD Hubby, as well. When he gets the phone call from Our Favorite Mechanic that he and his friends are going to a movie and would Hubby like to go along, my answer is always, "Yep - go for it!" He needs some uninterrupted fun time, too!) TTFN JMS

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I thanks you for de time wif meh friends eh. LOL. It really does help...even though I never seem to be the one to pick the movie (theirs have been a bit lame) and its usually a LATE showing. ahh well... I say Good DAY!

G said...

I hate to tell you this honey, but I'm 28 and I still have the terrible twos... peace be with you.

Anonymous said...

I understand your plight. I have a 2 yr old Grandson and we were blessed to visit them in Chattanooga this past weekend. We went to the Children's Museum Sat and the Aquarium Sun. I guess he was tired by Sun because all the way back to the hotel in the Trolley he was screaming! He didn't want to sit, he didn't want to hold the 'pole' like he enjoyed doing so much before. He wanted to pull the 'stop' chord, you name it, he wanted to do it, or didn't want to do it! He just couldn't be satisfied. But when he came to my room in his pj's ready for me to read his stories Sat night, he was soooo sweet! And when his Daddy came to get him, he said, "You're taking Grandma's Boy!!" I was so touched I could have cried! And when I first saw him he said, "You missed your Big Boy, Grandma!" So when he was screaming on the Trolley, I just turned to the lady beside me who was looking like she was absolutely disgusted and said, "He's just tired, he's had a big weekend." And I smiled. Maybe it's partly because I'm a Grandma, & I can give him back to his parents when he's inconsolable. But when he is good, he is SO VERY GOOD! And when they are bad, they can be horrid! (Taken from an old nursery rhyme about the little girl with the little girl in the middle of her forehead, for those who might not have heard that expression.) But they are never really horrid, they are so precious! I cherish every moment with them. When you're a Grandparent, you don't get to see them every day. I guess maybe that's why Grandparents get to spoil them so much!

Anonymous said...

Sorry for the typo, that was supposed to be "a little curl in the middle of her forehead"! Lol