Wednesday, February 18, 2015

That elusive thing called Sleep

As most of you probably have figured out, I love sleep just about as much as I love coffee.  Sleep, however, is becoming more and more elusive for me and I must say: I really don’t like it.  (Hubby would probably be making comments here right now about snoring and stealing covers, but he rarely reads my blog so, whatever.  It’s funny, the person I most want to read my blog…doesn’t.  I don’t think it’s because he doesn’t care, he just doesn’t want to take the time to read all these words.  It is the same with when I’m telling him something face to face; there comes a point in any conversation where I can see he’s tuned me out and isn’t really listening anymore.  It’s OK.  I’m pretty sure it’s a guy thing.)

Anyway – back to sleep.  Or, more accurately, the lack of it.

So the other night it was about 11:30 and I had put away Netflix for the evening because I felt it was in my best interest to attempt a few hours of sleep in order to be fully prepared for work the next day.  (This would have been Sunday night, I believe.)  Here’s how that went:



                                                                Flop again.


Hm…I’ve never noticed that red light before, I wonder what that is...?

                Flop.  Sigh.

                                What time is it?

                11:40 PM.

                                                Sit up.  Pound pillow in frustration.  Adjust, adjust.  Sigh.

Blink, blink.  That street light is awfully bright.  I really need to get some black out curtains.

                Hm…I wonder what time it is?

                                                11:45 PM.

Crap.  Am I gonna do this all night?

Flop.  Adjust, adjust.  I think I might need a snack.

                                No, you don’t need a snack, dummy!  It’s almost midnight and you’re counting calories.


                NO!  Stay where you are…I’m warning you!

                                But…can’t I just go look in the fridge?

Oh, for heaven’s sake!

                                                FLOP!  SIGH!  POUND POUND!  Crap!  Did I just wake up hubby?

This, essentially, went on in a similar form or fashion until about 2:30 AM when my exhausted brain and body finally gave in to that elusive thing called sleep.  I woke at 5:15 AM to take my thyroid medicine (as I always do), fully expecting to sleep another 30-45 minutes (as I always do) but NO-OOO!  I was awake now.  Not as in simply not asleep anymore.  I was A-W-A-K-E!



So, going back to the Netflix thing.  It seems to be that the more occupied my brain is with other things the less likely I am to sleep.  I try to numb my brain into submission by occupying it with something else, like reading (which doesn’t work as well as it used to) or, now, Netflix or Amazon Prime movies and TV shows.  If I’m watching a movie, I choose something I’ve seen so that I might grow bored earlier and drift off to the Land of Nod without missing something exciting, or, at the very least interesting.  If I’m watching a TV show, it’s harder because if the show is good, I want to binge watch and immediately move right on to the next episode, and the next, and the next, and before I know it it’s nearly midnight…again.

Reading used to help a lot.  I’d get into a book and, regardless of how good the book was, I’d eventually get to a point where I realized I was reading the same sentence over and over and over again.  I’m off reading right now, though.  I haven’t found anything lately that piques my interest and I don’t want to re-read any of my old standbys.  I guess I’m in a Reading Rut.

I know there are a bazillion tricks that people all over the world have to help one sleep.  Counting sheep, sleeping on your left side instead of your right, changing your pillow, adding a pillow, removing a pillow, turning down the house temperature, meditating (something I’ve NEVER been good at, though I’ve tried hundreds of times), warm milk (ick), warm bath…  The list goes on and on.

Counting sheep bores me.  I already sleep on my left side.  I switch out my pillow situation about every other night.  Hubby keeps the house temp at 67° at night anyway, which is either too cold, or too warm.  And that’s another thing, I’m usually TOO WARM.  But if I kick off the covers, then I’m too cold.  If I cover up, and kick one foot/leg out that helps, but then when I turn over I get all woozled (yes, woozled) up and I have to start all over again.

I won’t bore you with more.  I’m sure, if you’re human (and possibly a female human in her forties) you’ve been through this.  I envy those who can put their head on a pillow and be out like a light in about thirty seconds (ahem…girl-child!).  My friend, Scoop, can put his head down, be asleep in about thirty seconds, sleep hard for like five minutes, and wake up completely refreshed and ready to go.  I’ve never understood folks like that.

Anyway – wish me luck.  This time, it’s been about a week since I’ve slept through the night.  Not taking into account the night when I took some cold medicine and was down for the count.  That’s medicated sleep, which I do not recommend as a viable alternative to the real thing.


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