Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Go me?

Yesterday was Memorial Day. Please don't misunderstand when I don't really talk about Memorial Day. I'm not dismissing it, or its importance. It's just not what I want to talk about.

I started CrossFit (which I genuinely like) a few weeks ago, and decided to go to the 9AM class. Yes, there was one on Memorial Day.

I already knew my regular trainer would be there, we'd discussed it. I either didn't know, or didn't remember, that they'd be doing "The Murph" workout; way beyond my current skill level. Although, I don't think my gym uses a 20lb vest or body armor for added weight. Either way, I was there at 9AM.

Usually, there are about 8 people in class when I'm there. Yesterday, there were closer to 30!

I already don't like crowds. My anxiety was already high. Too many people + high anxiety = I couldn't handle it, so I left. I ran away like a frightened dog with her tail between her legs. I chickened out. I was so disappointed in myself. I cried all the way home, and on Hubby's shoulder, and alone in my room. It took a while for me to settle down. It was not a full-blown anxiety attack, but it was up there. Add in the disappointment and...well...it wasn't pretty.

I finally channeled some of my energy into cleaning. I completely cleaned the bathroom, did a few loads of laundry, stripped the bed, washed the sheets, the blankets - everything, and completely cleaned the cat box and surrounding area.

I was still in a funk, but somewhat less so.

I'm going back to CrossFit tonight. I don't want to quit. I'm sure my trainer will want to know what happened to me yesterday; why I just disappeared. I'm embarrassed to tell him, but I will. He needs to understand I'm challenging myself in more ways than just fitness.

Go me?


1 comment:

Judy Coby said...

Go you. Show 'em all. Love Cousin Judy