Thursday, June 01, 2017

Celery is Gross & Green Tea Tastes Like Dirt: An Anxiety Diet

The other day (which was probably more like a week ago or so) Hubby and I attended a class together. It was called Behavioral and Medicinal Characteristics of Plant-Based Nutrients presented by Merrily Khun, RN, CCRN (r), Ph.D., ND. Hubby went because, as a massage therapist, he can get continuing education credits to support his license. I went because Hubby asked if I wanted to go and I said yes. I'd never been to one of those classes (he's been to several I'd have like to have gone to, too) so I thought it would not only be educational, but interesting.

The speaker (Merrily Khun) did a good job. She was funny, engaging, her subject was interesting, seemed well-researched (she cited her research, too, which - as an admin at a National Laboratory - made me happy to see), kept us on track, and presented her work well.

(Funny aside: The venue made her use their presentation equipment, which she was unfamiliar with. During the early part of her presentation, she tried to show a video. She tried several times and, while we could hear the video, we couldn't see the video. She got quite frustrated. One person tried to help her, suggesting there must be a remote she needed to use, but that was unsuccessful, and the venue guy knew nothing about the technology. Finally, I couldn't stand it and got up to assist. Me - Ms. Anxiety-Don't-Like-Crowds - got up in front of 250+ people, climbed up on stage and showed her how to fix it. Et voila! The video was now showing on both large screens and her computer. There was actual applause! It was a strange thing. I guess it was a good thing that, in a large audience of people in professional occupations like nursing, therapists of all kinds, dietitians, nutritionists, etc., there was a lone administrative assistant in the audience with a background in first-level tech support.)

Anywho- I'm glad I went. I sat from about 8:15 AM until 4:00 PM and wasn't bored once. That's pretty good, right?

Glad I went, and yet...not.

What I took away from that class was, basically, that I should never, ever, eat again. Everything we put into our bodies is bad for us.  Bread is terrible. Wheat is terrible - for everyone, not just those who have Wheat/Gluten sensitivities/allergies. Real Wheat - the heirloom stuff - can really only be found in Europe these days. Everything you eat should be organic, raw. Oh, and raw almonds are great, except you need to make sure they're steamed, not fumigated because...chemicals. Black coffee is fine. Green tea is better. She was not opposed to alcohol - in moderation, of course. Avocados (organic) are perfect. Curcumin is a wonder supplement for pain and inflammation, even for those who are allergic to anti-inflammatories/NSAIDS, like Yours Truly. Sugar is the root of all that is wrong with us. Egg yolks will kill you, just like cigarettes will. (NOTE: I'm taking giant liberties here, and this is Jen's Interpretation. I'm more than paraphrasing.)

So, here I go again with the "The Thing." You take someone like me, who is already a bit obsessive, already anxiety-ridden, already depressed (though working toward making myself better in several ways) and you tell that person that everything they eat is bad for them and they must break every habit they have, stop eating the things they love, stop eating the things they think are good for them, and start eating like a rabbit, what does that person do? Well, if you're me, you immediately go into Self-Preservation Mode and start buying organic (Holy Expensive, Batman!), stop eating bread of any kind, cut out all sugar (except what occurs naturally in fruits and veggies), drink nothing but water (not much of a challenge), black coffee (not much of a change), and green tea (which I'm trying to force myself to like, except I think it tastes like dirt). And celery is gross.

You make beautiful, colorful breakfasts and lunches with your Rabbit Food, and you pretend you're happy without bread, or cookies, or cake, or even hummus! I refuse to believe eggs are bad. Cheese is my friend (she never said otherwise) and coffee is coffee is coffee. Green tea...well, maybe I'll acquire the taste.

You know, They say "Diet" is a four-letter word for a reason.


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