Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Silly Stories, Goofy Voices, and Girl-Child

The other day, I snuggled in bed with Girl-child at bedtime, and told her silly stories in a goofy, made-up voice. We both had a very good time, and I don't think I've ever heard her laugh so hard. She said her face hurt. The voice I was doing was so goofy, I actually had trouble maintaining it; I kept making myself laugh.

Anyway, do you remember Lily Tomlin's Edith Ann sitting in the huge rocking chair telling the story about the crazy sandwich she made, which included raisins (I think) but then she decided she couldn't eat the sandwich because she didn't like raisins? It's been a while since I've seen or heard it, so mostly I made my own version of the story. But Girl-child thought it was great. At some point during that story, I'd said something about putting mayonnaise on the bread and she said, "Mayonnaise on a bed!? How is that even possible?" And - using my goofy voice - I said, "BREAD! BREAD! NOT BED! Who would be mayonnaise on a BED? That's just silly!" Which, of course had her giggling again.

I elaborated a lot. And she was totally engrossed in the story. When I finally came to the punchline - "I decided I couldn't eat it because I don't like raisins, so I threw it out." - she howled. She had tears running down her face she was laughing so hard.

I didn't realize I was so funny.

Then, I made up another story. This one was totally off the top of my head. About a kid who found a flower outside, thought it was pretty, picked it, and brought it in the house. His mom got upset, because she said it wasn't a flower, it was a weed, and it didn't belong in the house. But the kid said, "NO! It's not a weed, it's a pretty flower and I want to keep it!" Ensue argument between kid and mom, leading to mom finally saying something about the weed probably having bugs on it. The kid said, "BUGS!? I like BUGS!" and immediately went into his room to get his little bug catcher case. He put the flower in it, and brought it to his room.

Later, while he was brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed, he heard his mom hollering at him, "...and I went my room, 'cause that's where my mom was yelling at me from and she said, 'Why is this flower in your bug catcher in your room? I thought I told you to put it outside?' But I said that she said there might be bugs on it so I put it in my bug catcher!" Ensue another argument between kid and mom, leading to a final agreement that the kid would put the flower outside in the morning.

When the kid woke up in the morning, the flower was gone! "...vanished! and I went downstairs and said, 'MOM! My flower is gone!' and she said, 'Yes, I already put it outside.'" Kid was very upset, but ultimately, that was the end of it.

Then, two weeks later, it was the mom's birthday and daddy bought mom a vase of flowers. In it, were a few stems of baby's breath - which in the kid's mind looked an awful lot like the weed his mom had made him get rid of a couple weeks earlier, so he removed the baby's breath from the arrangement and tossed them outside. When his mom realized what he'd done, he said, "But you said flowers like that weren't allowed in the house! They looked just like the one I had and so I put them outside!"

Girl-child said, "Solid burn!" Which had ME howling!

Anyway - the actual story was much funnier when I was telling it in person, in my silly voice, to Girl-child. We spent 45 minutes or so being silly, and then it was bedtime for bonzo. She said, "Mom, this has been the best day ever!"

Apparently, I'm doing something right.



Sam said...

This is fantastic!

Michele said...

LMAO! That kid was right. Flowering weeds can be pretty.