Thursday, June 22, 2017

Ventriloquism and the Sinus Blowfish

Yesterday, it felt like a frightened blowfish swam up my right nostril and lodged itself in my sinus cavity. POOF! Nothing getting in, nothing getting out. I felt like that all day long. That, plus my right ear felt...weird. I was on my way to being well and truly convinced I was headed toward a sinus infection or an ear infection - or both. (Because...well, history does repeat itself.)

At one point - without warning - I suddenly could breathe again. Out of both sides. It was noticeable because truthfully, I almost never can breathe out of both sides. I'm sort of used to it being one or the other. So when I felt air flow - right and left - I noticed.

I posted to Facebook: MIRACLE! I can breathe out of both nostrils! Wait...nope. Never mind. #Allergies.

Because as soon as I started to post the blowfish got angry again.

Today, I feel fine. Apparently, the blowfish who took cover in my sinuses kissed and made up with whatever frightened it and sent it up there in the first place. Today, I'm normal. Kinda breathing out of one side, and clear on the other.  It will switch up in an our or two.

This has been a lifelong commitment. This battle between which sides of my head wish to breathe. They cannot, it seems, draw or release air at the same time.

If you're a Jeff Dunham fan, you'll understand what I mean when I say, "I talk, you talk. I talk, you talk. We cannot both talk at the same time!" Remove the word "talk" and insert the word "breathe" and...there you have it. That's me. (Jeff Dunham, for those who don't know, is a ventriloquist. And he is freakin' hysterical. There's a very short clip below to prove it.)

Anyway, my father once told me, "Jenny, you've been this way since the day you were born. I don't think you could make a sniffle I'm not familiar with."

This, sadly, is true. I've been an allergy-ridden mess since day one.

But, I'm alive. And, every day I get up on this side of the earth is a pretty good day. Right?


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