Admit it, you just added to the title of this post and sang, "...on my own!" (If you didn't, refer to: Whitesnake, '87. You might need an 80's music education.)
It's been nearly one hundred years since I've written anything. And I do mean anything. I'm not really sure what happened.
I wish I could say that nothing new has happened, but as my last post was written in June of 2021, and it's now the end of August 2024, I'd be lying to you. The problem is, so much has happened I wouldn't really even know where to start. I'm sitting here typing and trying to think of some highlights, so give me few seconds.
1...
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Ok - that's enough seconds.
Girl child has had a few pieces of her artwork displayed at the Knoxville Museum of Art. One of them even won best in the area for 11th grade in fine art! To say she's amazing would be an understatement. She still can't keep her room clean to save her life, but - though it pains me to admit it - she is my child. She's just like I was at her age. <sigh>
Boy child is now working as a welder. He's connected with a boilermaker's union and is keeping steady work that he's good at and - I believe - he truly enjoys. He just bought himself a truck a few weeks ago. Let's just say that, due to his diligence, commitment, and hard work, he was able to walk away without a payment.
If you've followed any of my previous posts, we now have three, yes three, cats. My ADD Brain says, "OH! Now is a great time to tell your dear readers all about your cats and introduce Archie!" My Rational Brain (and she doesn't show up very often these days) says, "Nope. You started writing again. Continue writing, dammit. You can introduce the cats in another post." So, as much as I want to tell you all about the fur kids, I'll take the advice of my rational brain.
Hubby is still a massage therapist. I don't know what else to say there. Wow - how sad is that?
I'm still working full time. My health is...weird? My MS diagnosis back in 2021 threw me off track. I can't say I'm getting back on track, but I've assimilated and acclimated to the new situation. I'm tired all the time so have little energy to do much after I've gotten off of work, I still have muscle weakness in my right leg and vague numbness in my right arm and occasionally on my cheekbone, but I'll take that any day over the complete numbness of yesteryear. But - health issues aside - I'm OK. I think.
Actually, it occurs to me that I don't think I ever really told you what happened that led to my MS diagnosis. I even checked my last post to make sure, but nope - no story.
April 2021:
I woke up at "stupid o'clock" one morning to discover my right leg didn't want to support my weight. I had gotten up to use the bathroom and it was probably 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning, so my first and immediate, sleep muddled thought was, "Oh, my leg's asleep. That's OK, I can make it to the bathroom and it'll be fine." When I woke up the next morning, my leg was still dead. For all intents and purposes, anyway. But, what did I do? I took a shower, got dressed, and drove my dumb ass to work!
I was so focused on my leg, and paying attention to how to walk so I didn't kill myself, it took a while to realize that not only was my leg completely and totally numb (literally zero feeling), so was the entire right side of my body. It was like someone took a sharpie and drew a line down the middle of my body and said, "Right side? No more sensations for you!"
My boss at the time was a registered nurse. He wasn't practicing, but he kept up his license so he was, legitimately, a healthcare professional. He came into my office at some point that morning, gave me a quizzical look, and said, "OK - what's wrong with you? You seem...off." So I told him what was going on with me. (Tangent: one thing you need to know here is that the place where I work has a medical clinic on site.) He said, "Medical! Right now!"
I told him I was fine, that it was probably just a pinched nerve or something and that it would eventually go away. He said (and I'm paraphrasing), "You go on your own, or I will haul you there myself." (This was said out of concern, not malice.)
So, I took myself to medical. After many tests, they decided to send me to the hospital for a CT scan. The CT scan indicated Multiple Sclerosis (MS), but my doctor wanted to confirm it and sent me for an MRI. The MRI confirmed it and my doc then referred me to an excellent neurologist who took me on immediately. In fact, the neuro's office called me to say that the doc I was to see was on vacation, but she wanted to see me immediately and could I come tomorrow? She was going to come in, on her day off, to see me personally. When I saw her, she confirmed - definitely - the MS diagnosis. We looked at the MRI images and she pointed out the large, bright white, "lesion" on my brain that was clearly causing my issues. She also pointed out several dark spots that she said indicate I've had for a while and it just went undiagnosed. Thinking back, I can come up with at least one instance that - if I had investigated further - might have gotten me a diagnosis much sooner.
When I say my right side was numb, I mean that literally. During all the testing, I got stuck with so many needles it wasn't even funny - and I didn't feel a single one. They would say, "Which arm do you want me to use?" Really? Just stick it anywhere on the right side of my body. It doesn't matter. I won't feel it. They could literally have stuck the needle in my temple and it wouldn't have mattered.
I dealt with the numbness, the initial heavy doses of steroids, the weakness and all the things that happened as my body started to return to what would eventually pass for normal. There were times when my right knee felt like it was the size of a watermelon. It wasn't. Times when the upper part of my leg felt like someone had dipped it into a vat of acid. It was not, in fact, bubbling with blisters or on fire. I was not cold, nor was I roasting to death. All of these things were directly related to my nerves and broken brain.
As I said earlier, I still deal with weakness and numbness, but the biggest issue I deal with these days is my balance. Which wasn't great in the first place. Now I walk down a perfectly straight corridor, with perfectly a perfectly flat surface, and weave around like a drunkard. Stairs are fun. Thank goodness someone invented railings. And I find myself wishing there were handicapped rails in every single restroom on the planet.
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