Much Ado About Nothing (Originally posted February 28, 2007)

TRANSFERRED FROM LIVEJOURNAL I’m feeling decidedly uninspired today. We’re going to the Wednesday night supper at church tonight. I have no idea what is on the menu as I didn’t go to church on Sunday, but I’m sure it will be something yummy; it always is. Right now I’m trying to complete some filing that I’ve been putting off for about a week. It’s not to terribly daunting a task, really, but I still hate doing it. Please notice I’m writing rather than filing. I have decided that if I make it through next week without having this baby, that Friday, March 9th will be my last day at work and I’ll begin maternity leave on Monday, March 12th – my actual due date. Then, I’ll make it a goal to be back at work on Tuesday, May 1st, which will give me 7 weeks of maternity leave. If I have a C-Section (that would mean I’d get 8 weeks of leave – I get 6 otherwise), my date of return to work would be around Monday, May 7th. I am so worried about how I’m going to be as a mother with 2 little ones; it occupies my mind even at 2:00AM when I should be sleeping. I feel like I have enough difficulties with the one we currently have – how will it be with 2!? I know I’ll be busier and more tired (yeah, like that’s possible) and overloaded with diapers again...but what can I say? I guess I’ll just have to, well, adjust! I hope I don’t neglect Kiddo – that would absolutely break my heart. Sometimes the whole thing just overwhelms me and I can’t help but cry. Poor Hubby doesn’t know what to do at those times and I don’t really have the words to explain why I’m crying. Mostly it’s just the whole, “Am I a good mother?” question that seems to play repeatedly through my overworked brain; it’s exhausting. Anyway – I guess that’s it for today. Told you I was uninspired! Hope you’re all well! TTFN JMS