Good-bye 2007

I drove to work this morning in the dark. I arrived at work this morning in the dark. It was cold, but not so cold that I needed to spend 30 minutes defrosting my car. I so wanted to walk outside this morning and see snow. It's supposed to snow tonight, they say, though I doubt it will amount to anything. It would be very nice to see at least one good snow storm this year. Er...well, I guess I should say this winter, because this year is over, isn't it? It's funny how certain people, places, tidbits of information and other things stick with you, even if you don't necessarily regard them as significant at the time. I remember things like the fact that I once knew someone who has a birthday today. I remember what it felt like to sit in the sandbox my father made out of an old tractor tire and the smell of the sand he used to fill it. I remember how empty I felt after my children were born - just that first day or so after realizing I wasn't pregnant anymore and I wasn't going to feel my little one do somersaults in my belly. I remember my mother's hands. I remember my little sister, Hannah, as a baby, at her first Christmas, in her footie-sleeper with her padded & diapered fanny trying to stand up using the couch as support. (I, in fact, remember this frequently because Greta is now, right about where Hannah was then - and when I remember this, the whole loss of my early family comes crashing down upon me and I have to call Hannah and cry to her. I feel like a sniveling idiot.) I guess it's just that I seem to be spending the end of 2007 thinking about the past, rather than looking toward the future. The "what-if's" and the "could-have-beens" that plague me are especially raw and fresh. I'm not even sure that I really know how to explain this feeling. There is no way 2008 can be as eventful as 2007. We had our second child. We purchased our first home. Jamie started his own business. We remain perpetually broke. On the lighter side, we should get a decent tax break...right? Merry New Year to everyone. I hope that your 2008 is as wonderful as you would want it to be. (There I go, waxing sentimental again...) TTFN JMS PS: On a sad note, we lost our friend Phoebe (click to see blog post about her from 2006) this past week. She was the little mutt pooch our friends Carmine and Sarah fostered. Phoebe wound up being a permanent foster dog because she was deemed unadoptable due to health issues. Such a sweet little thing she was; such a funny little bark; such bright eyes. She will be missed.