Friday, January 11, 2008

Vampire Baby

A lot of you who read this blog may not know that when I was much younger (and stupid-er) I was obsessed with vampires. I read vampire books constantly, watched any and all vampire movies I could get my hands on and even tried to find myself a set of silver teeth that would somehow fit over my incisors...just for effect. I owned a vampire encyclopedia. I dressed as a vampire for Halloween more often than I care to admit. I even tried to write a vampire story - which was terrible and has now been recycled. I knew the name of that pale-faced, long-fingered actor who played Nosfaratu in the silent movie and I once (oh, I can't believe I'm admitting this) won a free shot at a bar when the bartender tossed out that little trivia question to me thinking I wouldn't know it. Little did that bartender know that he was challenging a vampire fanatic. All that is now, thankfully, behind me. Though I still enjoy a good vampire flick and would really love to get my hands on a copy of Brian Lumley's Necroscope series because, though sometimes gory and scary, it is always worth another reading. The reason I wrote that long explanation is because of Greta the vampire baby. She is a silly, sweet little thing who likes to give hugs and wet sloppy baby kisses. She also bites. I am in the process of weaning her so she'll begin to take nothing but a bottle and (with apologies) leave the more tender parts of my body free from injury. When we were in church at midnight on Christmas Eve, she was fussy. Since Charlie was sound asleep on one of the pews surrounded by trusted friends and family, I removed Greta to the back of the church. While I stood there with her in my arms, slowly swaying back and forth and humming quietly in her ear, she seemed to settle down and nuzzled her little face down into the crook of my neck and shoulder. I put my hand gently on the back of her head, thinking that this was the last fighting throes of a sleepy baby. And then...OUCH! She bit me! Right in the crook of my neck! I know I gasped because it hurt - and I scared her because she started to cry in earnest - and we both drew stares from the faithful around us. I held her away from me a bit, looked her in the eye and said firmly, "Ok, Vampire Baby - no biting!" In church. On Christmas Eve. Thought I'd share.

No comments: