I Hate Bath Time

Taking my cue from Mrs. Meadows...who provided me with not only the inspiration, but the guts to admit it.

"Hello, My name is Jennifer and I hate bath time."

Does this make me a terrible parent? Probably, but it's just the way I feel. Bathing one's children is nothing - repeat NOTHING - like it is on TV. On TV, it's all warm and soothing and quiet happy time with not a splash in sight and a smiling, totally dry, non-frazzled mommy. In reality, it's a noisy, wet, slippery, frustrating experience. Granted, you do get clean kids out of the deal, which is always a good thing, (especially when they're sticky) but the process is anything but warm and soothing. I've tried the warm and soothing thing and it just isn't possible. Bath time at our house leaves the bathroom looking like a war-zone. There's water and toys and towels and clothes everywhere. For someone like me who has a "thing" about nasty bathrooms, this isn't a fun sight to see. Nor is it soothing. Kiddo and Little Bit think splashing mommy is fun. They think splashing each other is fun. They don't care about the water that somehow makes it's wet way over the edge of the tub only to pool in a dangerous, slippery puddle on the linoleum. They don't care that my dry clothes are now soaked and sticking to my skin. They don't care that my hair is sticking out in all directions from my trying to keep it out of my face while, at the same time, trying not to drown them while rinsing their hair. "It's just water, Mom," says Kiddo. "You knew what you were getting into," says Hubby. Ok - they really didn't say these things, I made them up - but that's what I imagine they'd say to me. Oh, and then there's the screaming fit Kiddo throws when I tell him it's time to get out of the tub. "Put up your toys, bud...it's time to get out," I say. And he responds with, "NO!!! I'm not ready to get out yet!" (I am reminded of the Calvin & Hobbes comic where all you see is Calvin running across three frames yelling, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" as his mom chases him down for a bath. I live in the opposite of that world. My kids love the bath and hate to get out! Ah heck, Kiddo is, in many ways, Calvin incarnate.) "Can I watch the swirl in the drain, Mom?" This requires Kiddo waiting in the tub while the water drains out, but I usually let him do it. After bath time, after I'm thoroughly soaked, after my hair is plastered to my forehead, it's a quick dash to dry off whichever kid is now clean so they don't stand there cold and shivering. This is just not my idea of a fun experience. Nope. Warm and soothing just don't factor into this process...anywhere. TTFN JMS